Gosh, today is father’s day and it turns out to be quite a disastrous one.

Honestly, I am out of wits and finally decide on buying the first ice-cream cake in our family history to mark this special day.

The big day started when my mum grumbling she is hungry so it’s the time to grab the cake. With my father covered with sweat and my dear grandfather having a sweet conversation with old Mr. Zhou, I ushered them to the dining table though that is obviously not the right time.

Covered in a XXXXL size white polystyrene box, it raised a serious question from my grandfather, HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? Then the mantra followed by……blah blah blah, why waste such money, ai….

When the cake first flashed into our view, it was floating on a pool of purplish liquid, or more specifically, melted yam ice-cream. Oops, seems like the refrigerator is not cold enough for our delicate sweetie. So, there is no ceremony, no candle-lighting, no whisper of wishes, no photograph taking, just hustling, grumbling and me slicing the cake clumsily. You see, our dainty cake need to be sent into the ICU. What a pity but what to do, its blur blur owner totally unaware that is need to be kept in the freezer.

Nevertheless, that is still a marvelous cake. I really like Sunlight cake!! With chocolate and yam ice-cream sandwiched between chocolate cakes, this is really a potpourri of my favorite desserts. My dear grandfather ate up his XXL slice of cake while continuously mumbling about my lack of thrifty. @.@

What makes me feel slightly delighted is my father actually think the cake is nice, quite surprising as he don’t like cake usually. But, my mother did complaint about me bring back such a huge thing cake which occupies half of her refrigerator and MELTS…..Actually, the cake is just like a nut in a matchbox. The super thick polystyrene container is made so to insulate heat. 

Seriously, I don’t know how to initiate reaction in my father’s inert nature. Annual Father’s Day card will be left at living room until it was collected together with the old newspaper or kept by my mum. T_T Last time, my Father Day Thank You letter remains undiscovered for three days though I changed the hiding place from slightly hidden to a obvious CAN YOU SEE IT??! spot and now it lies in my file.

But we can’t be frustrated by little obstacles right? So this year I took another strategy. After observing him for an extended period, I discovered handkerchief is the thing he need and that is what I will get for him.

The process of picking the gift is also quite amusing with us 3 young ladies walking around the underwear department in search of handkerchief. Actually, the boxes look just the same. We can’t help to wonder what people will think about this. =p A big thank you to Ning who nice enough to drove me and Han who sacrifice her sleeping time to keep us companied.

This time, to protect my precious gift from occupied by dust, I put that on an obvious place and straightly ask him, did you see that? With his face buried beneath the newspaper, he murmured a yes and monotonously asked: what is that?….since he can’t read the label, OK, I forgive him.

The rest of the day is just as dull as all other days. Oh, this is totally not the warm and heart-touching moments I imagined. Guess I forgot how passive my old folks are in expressing feeling thus missed the heating process.

Till now, half of the ice-cream cake is still shivering in my fridge, waiting for a life-saving spoon to scoop them out. As for my special gift, it was left untouched at its original position for 3 days until I took it out and opened it for my father!!!

         But still, Happy Father’s Day to all.

This year, I went back to my school for the Sports Day.

Our school welcomed us in a new garish orange coat, news about the headmaster leaving this school and more teachers joined this army while some gone.

Everything changed, yet everything unchanged.

Standing on the very field, somehow the atmosphere changed. Though they still do the same thing, ran, drill, set up stalls, I sensed temperature drop. Sports Day used to be carnival with boiling hubbub but now there are less people, less heat and less passion, even the lelong sounded powerless.

Is it because now I am a trespasser or the missing of team house decoration and mascot? We used to have all cute and creative mascots representing each team and amazingly decorated tent with various themes such as the Egypt Pyramid which I am looking forward to. I am really disappointed to see only plain tent with only some balloons. Well, I heard this is an order from our headmaster. He wanted the student to focus more on their studies.

But personally I think those wasted moments are what make Sports Day so special, skipping class to collect money, training after school, sweating under the sun for drilling practice, drawing those decoration and even stay till late night to this the last piece of decorations. Though I am not involved in Sports Day preparation, those vivid images are still in my mind. Crowds busy with piling T-shirts and beautifully painted polystyrene board that emit irritating odor. People are damn busy but also super energetic, in ecstasy. Though those pyramids only live for a day, it is worth it.

Pick up little conversation with our teachers. Standing in the same staff room, breathe in the super cool air con, it is like falling into the past in movies. The scene turns black and white with the same teacher sitting on the same place with the same position and maybe even chatting the same topic. I mean, I graduated, went to matriculation and graduated again, everything here is in their place. The almighty time doesn’t seem to have much effect here.

I managed to hit my target, talk to every teacher in my list. Hoho, my favorite teacher is still the same, maybe increase in weight? It is really quite warm to receive concerns from the teachers and exchange details of our recent life. I had to admit, it is quite tiring to answer same questions multiple times. But it is nice to hear about how my classmates doing, haven’t seen some of them for a long time.

A durian from the sky knocked our head. Our dearest teacher Miss Ting agreed to yumcha with us. She is going back to university, which means the very thing that keep attract me back to school are leaving too. Anyway, this is good for her, to start on another journey and maybe encounter her Mr. Right?

As usual, Sports Day is a reunion day for alumni and surprisingly this year, half of our class came back. I can’t help to notice how this one year sculpted us. They become more cheerful, more active, more mature and some aloof. They are talking about subjects that I don’t know, and the pressure. Sometimes I wish I knew how to help them but.....

I can’t press down the worries that bud in my mind, though now we met almost weekly, can we guarantee that all these difference will not tear us apart? I mean, I sensed the already, we live on different world, having new friends and distinctive topic. What will hold us together then?

Just like this school, when time flowed, more and more are leaving till one day, I can’t even find a familiar face in this place. New building rose while old trees chopped down, little is left for us.

Nevertheless, something will stay, just as our primary school sports day song, after 10, 20 or hopefully 50 years, we still sang with the same rhythm~前进吧，健儿们~ 

结论是，今年的端午节，我们不做粽子了。

妈妈的理由我能理解，这两个星期，每天来回医院，真的累了。材料也没准备，况且家里才几张嘴，阿公不吃糯米，老爸一人的胃也塞不下多少粒，去买就好了。

尽管如此，还是按捺不住心中的失落。

忘了几年没包粽子了，连妈妈的粽子味道也渐渐模糊。怀念两个人在闷热的厨房包着粽子的情景，红豆、炒香的肉、栗子、白梅豆、小山似的糯米霸占整张桌子。在香气环绕下，勺着仍是米粒状的糯米，尝试塞满折成三角形的粽叶。我总是包不好，出自我手的粽子营养极度不均衡，不是瘦得皮包骨，就是胖得肥油四溢甚至撑爆外衣。每次留下一堆瑕疵品让啼笑皆非的妈妈收拾，然后就溜到客厅翘脚等吃。

有一段时间，看到粽子总是提不起胃口，觉得它油腻，吞下腹中似乎可感觉一团团的糯米在翻搅，拨开粽叶的双手也会沾满油渍……

在异乡，粽子的身价截然不同了。去年，一度以为真的要凄惨的过没有粽子的端午节，结果意外之外的看到满满一包的粽子。嚼着带咸蛋黄的肉粽还有有阿嫲味道的硷水粽，心中的感动真的快溢出来了。一颗颗的粽子似乎是由爱心覆着的温香佳肴，每一口都别具滋味。呵呵，真是180°大转变啊。

不过无论如何，妈妈包的粽子，还是宇宙无敌的~所以这次妈妈献议要包粽子，要去买粽叶糯米花生，听着听着就很兴奋，眼前顿时浮现刚出蒸笼的粽子，冒着香气，让我蠢蠢欲动。谁知道，唉……

下次吧！而且，谁规定端午节才能包粽子？找个心情好的日子，让粽叶飘香~

没想到，买油条也要排队

忍着阳光刺在我的背后整整十五分钟

我才拿到

更没想到，跟我抢油条的

居然是印度同胞

看他们熟练的拣着油条烧饼

指着油条喊着panjang panjang

真的好可爱

还有，

连很多本地人都不认识的“肥猪”

（咸煎饼的亲戚，里面包糯米，甜甜的~）

他们也热爱不已……

卖完了，

还有人一直pulut pulut的喊

彪形大汉、老伯、拖着麻花大辫的小姑娘都有

而且都是十条十条的买

难道这是全家的早餐？

真想问他们是怎么吃的

台湾人配豆浆、我们沾咖啡

偶尔配配肉骨茶、菜汤

印度人呢？

油条配咖喱？

夜幕低垂，当我们一行六人漫步在马六甲街头时，总是落在后头的我突然想起你。想起你，总是神色慌张的四处张望，一手抓紧自己的手袋，一手把我拉向前方，自己殿后。想起黑带在我们仅有一次一起出游时坚持殿后，严肃的语气说着：“你知道很危险吗？刚才那些人一直看着你们。”

虽然你们不在，你们在我脑海中却莫名的鲜明。阿伯缠着我们时，想到你会打发阿伯，抓紧我的手臂快步向前；当一辆摩托冲向我们时，耳边仿佛荡着你的尖叫声。

很惭愧，懵懵懂懂的我总是让大家担心。走路你们会要我小心跌倒；考试前会有人特地敲门问我身份证考试证带了吗？要一个人搭巴士回家时，大家的叮咛堆成暖暖的一座山：不要一直睡，要选单人座，不要跟人笑，要坐在司机后面……

窝在大家的羽翼下真的很温暖，我就像赖床的人拉着被单紧紧不放。有时会觉得自己太依赖你们了，你们真的很让人安心，在一起时，我的危机意识基本上是零。有时我会忘了，我们都一样，只是十八九岁的女生，没什么社会经验，独自在外很危险，深夜时分成群移动，大家心里都有几分忐忑。

第一次自己搭巴士回家，只身到吉隆坡车站转车，独自从怡保搭火车到巴生，都很沾沾自喜，忍不住期待大家的赞赏，还会厚脸皮的问老爸你女儿厉害吗。从来没想过你们的经历，比我更绚丽多姿。很多时候，我只是循着你们画好的地图走而已。

期许十九岁的自己，是令人安心的存在，是个用强壮的臂弯为你们指路的人，是殿在后头为你们挡住危险的一堵墙。或者实际点，能开车穿越大街小巷就好？

你觉得我能吗？