Problem rises
When you think your problem
Is bigger than anyone else

Maybe it is true
You are the only one who can solve your own problem
And of course you have all the responsibility to clean up your own mess
But when you always put yourself on top of the priority list
You gotta accept others who kick you down from their list
Cause you are not there
When you are needed.

Hug yourself tight
When the tides come

Just woke up from a 5 hours power nap and it is 8pm
*The biggest dilemma in life*
To sleep or not to sleep tonight lol

Had an amazing dream that I just hope IT IS TRUE
Woke up in my own room to found out my besties(who don't know each other) sitting around my bed
Laughing at me
BUT THEY MAGICALLY CLEANED UP MY ROOM WITH SHINING FLOORS
I was so amazed and in pure bliss
Uttered "I love you" so many times and fall back to sleep
After 5 minutes I finally managed to process this great news that open my eyes again
Puff! I'm still in my old room and the fairies were not actually here *sobs*
I need my PA and housing assistants here........

So after regain my consciousness and surprised at my ability to sleep
I scrolled fb and blog for ONE exact hout
Although I know I had to pay for it
The next moment I'd be all stressed out with a pulled face
But I just love this peaceful and calm feeling
No works in mind just empty blank brain yay!
Just like to be on the extreme don't you

SO this is the week I'd called everything off
No more clinic
Done with the camp
Finally I could have a simple pure student life
When I was rushing assignments in the weekend
I suddenly really appreciate
Just being a student and study what I like
Even if it means being drowned by assignments yes

My focus had been off for so long
I really love what I am studying
It is not all the time you can find interest in your textbook lol
but I always do
But I get lesser and lesser time to delve into things I really like
Probably that is why the drive in me is lesser as well

Now I just want my student life back.
Two weeks, 8 assignments, 4 reports,
The almighty FINAL
The to-do-list before I officially end my third year
Wish me luck

盲充實和充實忙
是兩個截然不同的東西
雖然同是偏正
但是 含義上 體驗上 差多了

盲目的充實
還是充實嗎
當有人問你 在忙什麼
怎麼累成這副德性
你回答不出的時候
這個忙 是失去視線的忙
就算把自己累垮
或者撐得到48小時無睡眠
意義何在

充實的忙
是很實在的
生活節奏也許是緊湊的
心 是踏實的
也許腳步稍微輕快
手動的沒停過
但是心裡的路線 是明確的
知道自己在做什麼
知道為什麼要做
夜裡 睡的是沉穩的

你忙嗎
真的忙嗎
還是只是不會處理時間




PS
今天 我又放了一個飛機
這隻飛機 還蠻大的
只能在這裡說聲抱歉
因為我沒有善用每一分每一秒
期待有一天的我 懂得什麼叫充實忙
不過 還是更期待悠閒啦
話說我想要的退休 專心
好像一直到不來
會不會直到大學畢業都是這樣子？

Exactly my mood these few days

Had been moody and scary

Which is totally not me

Guess I scared some people today

But in this case I know the reason

I NEED SLEEP

PLENTY OF SLEEP

GOOD QUALITY SLEEP

But if you can't help even if you know the reason, 

what is the point?

I am too crazy
I have no rationality and my priority are so wrong.

Writing blog this moment when I have PLAN HOME PROGRAM CASE NOTE undone
and need to be submit by next morning
with people keep calling you and ask you to submit reportssss
Huhhh how to erase the bad impression if you keep acting like this?
Spending hours on a meeting you only talked for 30 minutes
Spending hours on a iFolio discussion that doesn't matter
IN SPITE OF THE URGENCY

Where is my rationality center GOSHHH
But I just had to do this
Had to finish that
Had to answer my own question
Had to write
Ughhh, who is my controller now