Intern life #1

Missed my blog
Just the second day of internship and Im too tired to talk

The ill-prepared sessions.
New cases that you googled the night before and went inside with blank mind
The unsaid apologies to those parents and patients who waited so long and travelled so far
The discussions I am too tired to absorb
There are so many things for me to learn but I have no capacity for it
Felt so unready
But this is the life for coming like, 20 years?
But just half the workload

So I'm marching into fourth year
But I still can't form animal-like animal sounds,
sing nice nursery rhymes and take toys away from kids.
And I don't feel like doing it everyday
Maybe I am lacking of creativity
But being a therapist like this, drains away my energy so much
That I don't even feel like talking for the rest of the day

Sometimes I feel
One only have so much energy
But if you have to be the energy-emitting therapists,
no you don't have much left for yourself.
Maybe I just need to give myself more time
To increase my threshold to get through all these
Maybe I am not good enough
Thats why I dont have the satisfaction to fuel me

Maybe I should feel grateful
Being in a hospital with nice SV nice senior nice staff nurse
Good resources Many patients Many variety

Ok finish rambling time to prepare for tomorrow again
Maybe I am too comfortable in lazy student mode to switch to working life
How do one stay energetic from 8am-5pm
I really understand why kindergarten teachers and even teachers only work half day

Well, it is not like I didn't enjoy the internship
It was exciting, I had lots of hands-one experiences
Explored many case types from adult to child in just two days
Yes I do have moments of joy and satisfactions though the sessions were never good enough
Just need to repeat with myself you need more time more effort to get into the tempo
Then you will be fine.
We will all be fine.
Yes you will.

If you walk now, you will have to run, run very hard later