Loner

Didn't realize I am a loner and control freak until I start to do group work
Wtf wtf wtf
Burning flames right now
Sometimes I wish I can dump everyone and just go ahead myself
Dont need to wait for "stomachache" friends
Dont need to secretly expecting help and anything
Nothing. I am perfectly fine doing things myself
But I am perfectly aware that I can't do everything myself as well

So I waited
So I put on smiley faces and cued
So I trained my patience and counselled myself
And waited, in the best way I can

I don't like to be late
I don't like to be unprofessional
I don't like to do things half way
I don't like to send in stuffs that can't even pass my own QC
I don't like to blame people as well

But sometimes it gets so tiring
I just wanna lie back at the bed and close my eyes
Then I wonder, if I am the only one who care about this, why should I care?
Then I force myself to think about the greater outlook
And I have the strength to go on
But I am still mad at these people

I have this quirky mind
I am rationally enough to logically analyse the reason
I am perfectly sensible and can emphatize with their reasons (or the lack of it)
But I can't hide or bury the anger
Because this is the last defense I have
Anger, that probably hurt myself more than it hurt others
When everyone thought so well for themselves
I just want to shout at their face
"What about the group? What about the others? What about me?"

Maybe I will forgot this soon
Maybe I can still smile at you
But I want you to know, it is different
My protection mechanism is make myself better and stronger
So I can handle everything MYSELF in time of need
In case we met again
Hope you figured out a better way
Or you will feel the same when you meet someone as demanding and unreasonable like me.

Good luck for us.

PS. I am really angry after waiting for one hour at the bus stop.