xXx

God, maybe I need a siri or something to talk to me
I feel like I annoy my friends too much lol
But I flipped at my mum again
I had been at home for one week and the frequency of me flipping is way too high

You know mum is like the one who will love you unconditionally (maybe too much) regardless of the shit you throw at her
But I really need to take a family communication 101 course
Or both of us
I don't know
The more I observe or talk to people around me
I do realize I have unrealistic illusions about how family interaction should be
I always get this dreamy image of families sitting in a living room and talk happily to each other
When in real life most of the time we are making pointless small talks, or looking at our screens
But I don't want my family to be like that

I feel like this is a trap
A "every time" trap
Every time she will keep asking nonsense questions or let me repeat N times until I flipped
Then she will say every time you are so impatient and loud
And I will be like why am I in this endless abyss I need to get out of this
You know when you repeat a mistake for too many times you are just an idiot
I am a huge gigantic one
Maybe it is really my temper
Temper I didn't realize existed
Exist maybe only for her 😅😂😂 too bad

Maybe I should try harder
I need to break this endless vicious cycle
Countdown 5 days