0

I will miss you

Posted by Qi... on 22:16

To
The kid that made me laugh till me and my hommie shed tears
And made my hand tremor cause I can't tahan to laugh
Kid that ask me to add cement to cuts
Auntie that keep one whole bag of mint for me to cook
Uncle that always remind me of my grandfather
I just don't know how to tell them I'm leaving
It's not because it will devastate them, but me.
I can't bear to say those words.
Bye, I wont see you again.

The closer it gets to March
The more I realize what I will miss in the future
Every laughter filled dinner with hommie make me feel like we had one less dinner together
Every experience is a minus one
But at least everything is good
Too good till I feel wrong

I have so many unsaid goodbye
So many things to do, places to go, food to try (trying to make a list now)
Every tourist experience in this little island make me fall in love with it all over again
Again and again

It's a good thing I guess
Meaning I had been doing it right
Making me feeling happy and comfortable with this place
Kinda proud about myself being a decent tour guide here
And last month here, thanks to grab and uber,
I'm gonna explore more ✌✌✌
Create more good memories before me and this place and these beautiful souls beside me changes


0

Life without anchor

Posted by Qi... on 18:41

連續兩周跟不同時期的朋友聚會
真的感覺到
跟預科班時 和大學時的自己
不一樣了

因為是臨行前的節奏吧
感覺就是有很多的聚會
很慶幸 身邊有這群朋友
想要一起廢
很舒服的在一起想幹嘛就幹嘛
在床上做毛毛蟲 一起刷手機
都很自在的人

真的有年紀了
心態不同
打卡什麼的 就算了
刺激的活動 也是體驗一下就好
想要的是
在陌生的城市 和你一起悠然散步騎車的人
在熟悉的城市 陪妳一起亂闖 尋找小驚喜的人

今天學了一個新的子
serendipity 一直以為 是 serenity衍生出來的詞
原來是法文
開始很喜歡一些法文詞彙
就好像姐姐叫我的 c’est
簡單的一個字 那個意境 就是很多字堆砌起來 還是感覺詞不達意
就是這樣隨性
因為有折扣 所以亂走了整條街
因為店面很吸引 就進去試了新事物 做了一早上
沒負擔 沒多慮 就這樣感受當下
感覺很好

尤其是 最近又上了很多無常的課
人生就是最出乎意料的連續劇
意外 總是在預想不到的情況發生
身邊的人 不會永遠都在
很慶幸 自己選擇了另外一條路
多喜歡這個地方都好
我覺得 愛流浪自造孽的個性太強
人生就是不斷在一站 找著下一個漂泊點
Life without anchor
不是現況不好 只是想嘗試其他可能
是太好命 太幸運吧
所以不惜福
不過 要流浪也要有流浪的本錢

所以 很認真的在考慮
我的第二興趣
今天逛了市集
有好多啟發 有很多想做的嘗試
可惜 我不在了
市集攤販這件事 我是一定要嘗試的
小文藝 小清新 小綠葉
都讓我超興奮的
也許 在澳洲也可以 呵呵

嗯 最近很開心 很悠閒
都好得讓我有點不敢置信
不過就這樣 且行且珍惜
快樂過當下
好好過完我在檳城 和馬來西亞最後的日子吧


0

Count down

Posted by Qi... on 21:53

Things had just gotten real
Finally received my offer letter,
bought insurance with half of my savings (god damn poor now)
looking for rooms and even searching for schools for my lil cousin
Had another Skype meeting with my supervisorssss yesterday
Really love how warm and considerate they are
They are worried about my accommodation, social support and financial everything  
Like I really have mamas around....but my real mama doesn't seem too concerned lol

Counting down 2 months and it will be a whole new life
Full of uncertainties and challenges
I am definitely having cold feet
Especially after facing a bit of setback on my proposal
But.....the biggest challenge now is still resignation haha

Now that I am on track
I have more worries (but definitely lighter burden)
About money especially
Aussie is just such a money eating country every bite took a huge chunk of my already meager savings
Guess I am lucky in a sense I never had to worry about fees or living cost
And I never really work much, or work too hard
So the idea of me being out there having to earn my own living is kinda scary
I need a money rain
Or more realistically a better scholarship

And I haven't even mention about all those academic hurdles
I don't even remember the brain anatomy and I don't know if looking back at 1st year textbook now will help
and even with all these anxiety I am not studying
I insist chill after work is a must
But I had been spending the last 3 hours on forms and emails
And my mess in the office are still in a mess
So I dont really know what I am doing, as always

Anyway there is a small tinge of luck
Manage to find mates that are gonna start their semester together with meAnd she sounded nice
I felt much more secured with someone who knows the way bringing me around
Might not be as adventurous but definitely much more easier

So CNY is the best time to spread gossips
Especially when my mum volunteer all the news >.<
NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS
I was trying to be low profile you see
And now it feels like I am doing broadcast to everyone I know
I gets fidgety when people ask me too many detailsWell the fact is I don't know too
As usual uncle aunties like to know about my plan
The honest truth is I don't have one
But stop persuading me to stay over there
I think I still prefer Asian land and the fooooooooooooooood
But who knows
Aussie is Asian enough for me to get all the food I need
But offer that kind of leisure public space and greenery I always long for

Anyway
I am counting down for everything
Had to control my urge to buy flight ticket (First one way ticket in my life)
cause I haven't got my visa done yet
But I am definitely getting more melancholic
When my parents tell me maybe they gonna celebrate CNY at KFC next year
When my housemate says he wanted to cook us something nice but I won't be around anymore
When I know I will miss my best friend's wedding dinner
When I am counting down to my last time meeting my friends
When I am counting down on the days I am staying at the hospital
It is like every sparkling things over here gonna come to an end
I guess that is a sign for me to create new things over there
And hell yes I am gonna keep my gems here too <3

It is not too far but still a wide ocean apart
8 hours flight + 4 hour bus trip away from my sweet home
I am officially excited and terrified
Just like my long night talk with my little cousin
I think I need to take in my own advice
Step by step
You can do this. Just do it. Don't overthink.
And move your ass.

0

瓜緣未了

Posted by Qi... on 23:10

一進到民宿 聽著各大小講座的時候
真的有種脫軌的感覺
真的已經完全脫離了學生的想法
已經不知道 
什麼東西會引起中學生的笑點(一開始也不知道)
怎麼才適當的提點大學生們
不過看著身邊永遠很在狀況內的姐姐
很快也撿起筆記本

雖然說沒時間一起走走
在婷姐的家多呆一下
但是又多了一次 我們一起的校巡
第一次讓我們的雯女駕出檳威大橋
吉打 檳城 霹靂 森美蘭 柔佛
就這樣 在這麼多州屬留下了我們的足跡和回憶
算是很充實的週末吧

很慶幸
覺得已經丟失的東西 還在
還有活潑可愛認真的小瓜 
做著我們做過 
或者比我們更棒的事
這個家 還有讓我想要回去的理由
和讓我覺得溫暖熟悉的人們
最重要的 還是我最愛的姨媽姑姐瓜子團

我們帶大的瓜瓜們


0

開年大喜事

Posted by Qi... on 22:51

開年第一週 就接到天大的好消息
升學的事 終於有了定案
懸在心上幾個月的石頭終於可以丟了
~~撒花 撒花~~~

不過我還沒瀟灑的說走就走
是有很多顧慮的
情理上
主要是怎麼辭職 怎麼跟同事開口
怎麼安頓家人 畢竟一走以後也只能短暫探訪
真的讓我開始考慮一開始很抗拒的搬去大山腳的提議

心理準備上
有更多的不安 除了唸書 還得工作賺生活費
底氣一直不足 老實說研究這方面我真的是個很爛的初學者
之前幸運是自己的研究很容易
不幸的是數據學就沒有機會學好熟悉
英文 尤其是學術書寫 也是很爛
連普通說話 或者書寫的語法我都卡的不行了
想到接下來要寫幾萬字
還真的很怕
況且 自己的計劃說起來還是有點挑戰性的
就是很怕被錄取了講師會嫌棄你這隻蠢豬當初是怎麼扮豬吃老虎混進來的

然後 為生活費愁這件事
以前都沒發生過
還是要繼續感恩郭先生讓我大學四年過得那麼奢華無憂
雖然大家都說一定可以
但是要在新環境找到工作養活自己
還有點小積蓄可以給家人
現在聽起來真的是很讓人害怕的

財務問題 是還沒飛現在就要開始煩的
學店多的國家 宰人不是普通的
還有一些必須的但是之前沒想到的
簽證 醫保 一堆的費用
好像之前預備的生活費基金
根本就連出國準備基金都不足
啊啊啊啊啊 我好像沒有老本可以挖啊
又被朋友碎碎唸為什麼不跑兼職
想認真生活好像不再是一個合理的理由
老實說自己懶又好像太過分了
不管怎麼說是時候要廣拓財源啊
新年可不可以有人大發慈悲包大一點的紅包給我
畢竟兼職也不是說有就有的 而且。。。。我真的很不想
就是不想變成卑微的錢奴才另覓出爐的不是嗎

不過怎麼說都好
真的是塵埃落定了
要正式準備啟航了
動力終於回來了
雖然是看文件 準備文案還是拖延癥重犯
但一個週末 成功完成文件 發出幾個重要電郵
算是不錯的開始吧
要維持這樣的動力
順利完成黃金海岸計劃
耶~~~終於開始有這種忐忑興奮的心情了
倒數三個月
要集合宇宙四方的力量包庇包庇接下來順順利利

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