I don't know which hit me the most
Grades
Words from others
Lost of passion
Bad experiences
Boredom
It could be any of them or any combination
But my mood is below the normal threshold now

I'm gloomy about this whole new semester
Not feeling excited for all the events ahead
Feeling lethargic even before I started clinical sessions
Terrified by the fact that we should be properly-trained with all the necessary knowledge by the end of this semester
Not a good way to start a sem
Tired of being a potato at home as well
Even though as a pampered potato

I guess there are just little times
Let you think more about life and what you want from it

Let's hope this wont last long cause I'm not really the emo type

Let's make it seven days

I need this kind of conversation

NOW

你不说 我不问

是不闻不问还是心有灵犀

因人而异

但是

我问 你不说

终归不是好事

一是我问多了

二是你不想说

有时候会好奇

人与人的沟通

为什么有这么多潜规则

装客气装斯文

旁敲侧击的试探

察言观色小心翼翼免得触及地雷

动嘴不累 这点运动我的声带还能负荷

但是要同时process这么多资讯 我的脑好累

能不能

单纯的 我口说我心 

我以为

至少我们可以

年过完了，

才来回想我的大年初一

有些人

一年，就见那么一次

见到面还是可以肆无忌惮的谈笑

当然也要感恩先进科技面子书line

用sticker拉近彼此距离 lol

人越老越喜欢老朋友

新朋友不易交是一回事

跟老朋友聊天最舒服

可以省略背景审查家庭介绍

旧笑话重复十年还是有点好笑

随口一句你姐几时结婚

那个老师转校了

你阿嘛好吗

就这样 聊一个下午也不够

剩下的请到这个网站对号入座：
http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/reasons-childhood-friends-are-the-best-friends?bffb

新年的亮点

就是这班傻婆

我最忠实的批评者和支持者

以为新年见到她们就够了

没想到还来得及出席同学会

傍晚才从大山脚赶到家

其实有小犹豫要不要出席

不熟的客套寒暄没意思

一gang的不如我们几个出来喝茶算了

但是我的脸皮是很薄的

所以还是现身了

虽然只是短短的聊了一下

但是听他们的故事

在澳洲在马来西亚在新加坡

旅游工作实习

虽然我们不再是彼此生活的一部分

但是听到大家过得好

也为大家开心

原谅我的一厢情愿

但是大家一点逻辑思考和辩护能力都没有

还是能准确猜到killer

（btw我第一次靠感觉找对凶手）

我真的觉得 是五年的相处

没有原因 就觉得你不对劲

就是你了

拍大合照时

突然发现我们毕业5年了

想当年在班刊里写下“十年后的我”

是那么遥不可及

原来我们已走到一半了

你离你的目标，近了吗？

回到家重新翻阅那本复印出来的A4班刊

笑别人笑自己

不断不断庆幸当年的自己

软硬兼施蛮牛般的坚持，

留下了这回忆的印记

没想到自己唯一的作品

就是这本班刊

看会自己之前写的宣言别人的留言

 每個字都在嘲笑自己

以前会以为自己不一样

大人说的向现实低头是别人

但我 却是向自己低头了

不是想怨叹什么

对现在的环境也没有很大的不满

只是 明知没有答案

偶尔还是想问  如果

如果 会如何

大家 还有五年

你可以感叹现实和理想的差别

也可以挣脱十七岁的视野

让二十七的你

变得更好

一起加油吧

感恩我的22，依然有你们相伴

希望以后33,44依然可以这样每几个月就聚在一起

喝茶 聊天 洗人 讲是非

一起变老傻婆 哈哈

So I am back at this city
Everything felt familiar yet different

Had been muddled with lots of thoughts in this short break
It's like all the while you had been walking in the dark
In that split second a lightning struck
You got a glimpse of what's around
A brief and vague one
Then you wonder
Am I on the right track?
Is this where I really want to be?
I hate these seeds of doubts
hate the feeling of swaying between path I want instead of the destination
also, I hate how these thoughts keep popping out in my own head without my permission

Guess it's quarter life crisis
Going through 1/4 of life
Now that we have more than one decade to look back
You thought you should gained something
Molding into the shape that you want
But still, you are this invertebrate
Living day by day with the same old routine
of failing your mission to change

Thinking back, essentially my future profession is all about
behavior change
inducing behavior change in client and caregivers
but if the best you can do for yourself is this much,
I doubt how much you can help others

Am I having second thoughts?
Never felt this way about the decision I made
Never talked about it in this way as well,
not joy not excitement to share but anxiety and hesitation
I am positive this is not holiday withdrawal syndrome even though it might contribute some
Looking from a brighter side
Maybe sometimes stirring the pond of thoughts is not that bad after all
It's for you to rediscover and adjust
to be able to stride forward with sense of clarity and serenity
and a little fire

Hope I won't be lost for too long