Bubbly bubble

Looking back at video of some therapy
Cant help but feel annoyed
Very annoyed

I hate repetition
I hate faking
I hate hypocrisy
I hate pretending
I hate exaggeration
And this is all we do in a peads session with all the cheers and excessive praise
I was like, I wanna puke if I listen the word "pandai" once more

I was talking to one junior
She was being advised to change course because
Apparently she cant interact well with children
aka she cant be this animated high-pitch cheerful
You have to pardon me to fell into this self-pity cycle again
But, once again just show how narrow the frame was

It is as if you need to be this bubbly kindy teacher to fare well
But not everyone can be like that
So do we only want ONE kind of speech therapist?
So is it really quiet, calm people cannot help kids to talk?
I feel like somehow we are off the path
Like the theme in QUIET
When we had this Confident is good, Extrovert is good myth
We are actually missing out a huge talent pool and missing out the other side
I mean, if there are reserved adults, there are reserved children too
Even though we are trying to encourage people to speak more and communicate better
We cant be going merry-go-round and singing nursery rhyme all the time right
So give the child a break, give us a break too phew

______________________________________________________________________

Recently I rediscovered what a wonder it was to talk with kids
I mean typically developed kids
That sort of real joy was wow
Kids with their cute innocent adult-like speech
"mama, you tak boleh suka kakak inilah, you dah ada papa"
"Call me James Bond" LOL
Had been working with children who cant speak for too long
I was feeling so hallelujah to hear all these
Any children below three years old that can speak more than 3 word utterances amaze me
Guess my threshold had really hit the bottom

Once upon a time like really long ago
I actually thought of being kindy teacher and wrote it in Cita-cita saya
That was when I really got a counselling session on my career choice lol
But yeah, I was like if I am only happy when I am talking with these kids that can really talk
What am I doing here playing masak-masak and click-clack car every week with kids that can only say "car", "nak"
Yeah the fml moment and what the hell am I doing moment is here again

You know the research actually shows it is a negative cycle
These children respond less, so their parents interact less with them cause they ignore you no fun ma,
but then if parents dont play with them, their development are more delayed then they got worse
So the communication and the development of communication skills getting less and less
Until one day, they decided to get a speech therapist to tell them how to play with THEIR kids

My point is, we are all naturally like the parents
We like kids who are cute, talkative, cheerful, active, bubbly
And I still do
Between this kids who can tell you cute stories about her kindy
vs this kids that ignore you all the time or run all around and say nothing
It is natural for us to prefer one over another

They need help yes,
but sometimes I wonder
If you put 1kg fertilizer this tree can bear 500 fruits
but another tree with 50kg fertilizer also only can bear 100 fruits
Where do you invest?
I dont know why after years of learning about people with disability I can be so discriminating
But yeah, I do think rehabilitation care is something beyond basic needs
It is more established is society that are more established
I just wonder, do I have the extra watt to light up these energy-absorbing might light up might not light up bulbs

Are you this dedicated? This noble? This loving and caring?
Is it too late to ask myself this question?