It's another day.

Some will say another year.

But what is the difference if we didn't change?

--------------------------------------------------------------

2011 had been a fruitful year

Memories created, lessons learned, new chapter written

Every time I looked back it made me SMILE

and wonder how I came so far

how these few months changed us

on the good side

and how our animal-ship never change <3

Grateful * Cherish * Love

---------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to my dearest classmate for the countdown dinner now

Now I'm a fans of Pizza Hut delivery...

Order more next time k?

Love you all!

hope all our wishes come true except Lai Yeong's

sorry but her wishes is just opposite with everyone's else =p

Suddenly feel like next year is SOOOOOOOOOO Long

Couldn't believe you really trust me to keep the secret little bag....

Let it be a tradition ok?

We are going to do it EVERY year...

So you better think of a funnier and more creative wishes =)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy New Year!!! ^^

" Before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, please stop and reflect on the year that has gone by, to remember both our triumphs and missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what new year is all about -- getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about what if and start embracing what would be."


Yea, that is what new year for.

Copied from a blog and it is just so true.

Generally I am insulated toward all those festive atmosphere

But this year,

for unknown reason

I wish to countdown with you all.

Let it be a new beginning of an awesome new semester.

I hope so.

P/S: I haven't thought of my new year resolutions! Pass final maybe? =P

Countdown-ING, not 2012, but 3 days to FINAL. ><

Bye. lovely 2011, where another journey began

想對您說，生日快樂
原諒我不會用你的語言說出這句話 @@
奇怪 怎麼我們從來不用“快樂”這個詞？

感謝媽媽
依然是全家唯一記得每個人生日的人
可愛的阿公 吃了紅酒麵綫還不知道怎麼一回事
鈍鈍的我 說句生日快樂也會口吃
十二月初五 我會記得的 下次
希望如此 記得去年的我也這麼說過

記得哦
我還有很多很多故事要聽
我們還要一起去旅行~
就代表

你還有很多很多碗麵綫要吃
湊足一百碗也不夠~

請照顧好自己等我回來……

95歲快樂！


PS：我也很想吃紅酒麵綫~

是的，又是冬至
冷冷的天，一團團溫暖的小圓球

雖然親愛的老媽已特意為我提前慶祝
湯圓+春卷+整桌的菜肴
佳節配套都齊了
湯圓，我搓了整整一盤
我算是很正式的過了冬至

但到了這一天
滿天滿地的湯圓美圖，
大家的冬至祝福
還是讓我湧起了滿滿的愁緒
我想吃湯圓，很想很想
喊了一整天

其實很清楚
自己懷念的
不僅是冬至湯圓
而是
2011年的那個夜晚
幾十雙不衛生的手
一起加汗水口水揉出的的繽紛彩球
糖水中透亮的五彩湯圓
我們的笑臉
怎麼一切都歷歷在目
還有
A2特製，黑得像藥材湯的湯圓……

十八年來，
不見得特別喜歡冬至
也從不記得那是何月何日
離家后
才發現沾著花生粉的湯圓
是如此可貴
而你們
又賦予這日子嶄新的意義
如今冬至對我而言
是要大家用燦爛的笑容一起搓湯圓
一起滿懷期待的看著湯圓隨著輕煙浮上來
再一起吃那甜甜的糯米糰
所以，沒有湯圓的冬至
突然變得難以忍受

那天眼前晃過

今年KMM冬至大團圓的照片

愣住了

太像了

每一張照片

每一個畫面

都好像只是換了人物

讓我再度陷入回憶的漩渦

很久、很久

告訴自己

是時候 停止了

我離開KMM很久了

但依舊困在那裡

在回憶的迷宮裡

冬至、聖誕、甚至新年

我都在那 守著曾經

回憶太美我捨不得離開

但我知道

一段回憶反復回味 會變淡

抑或更濃烈

吞噬其他美好的可能

所以 是的

我要在這裡寫出新的故事

不奢望更美

也不想比較

但這會是另一片風景

相信自己

也相信你們

要繼續活得精彩

該死，這十二月有太多日子讓我想起你們了！




琪
筆于PB Presentation之時 =p

Ok, it had been a long time since my last post....
Wonder why I have mood for this when my workload is at its PEAK
9 assignments.....5 reports.....n so many things to read
Plus currently emo mood....BAD

Wondering words of my most UNfavorite lecturer
just now.....
Well, I can't deny she had a point
We are still students that wait for her to spoon feed us, we won't think and we don't have questions. Intelligent question for discussions.

I used to think this is because I am not interested.
But even when I'm in classes that I'm interested, I just listen. No regurgitation and no questions.
Pathetic.

It is time to CHANGE
and
time to

PS: My classmate said I don't have brain because it is in my phone. Now it is on my blog. No wonder I feel like my skull is empty within. =P

Recently, people keep telling me what am I LACKING.....

Lack of communication skills-the BASIC one
Lack of confidence
Lack of analysis and DEPTH
Lack of time management
Lack of self-control

blah blah blah....

The list is just so long...hope this three principle is enough for me.....^^

Guess I'll start with talk more and BRAVELY about my feeling...
I'm enduring the mosquito coil that really burns my eye ( yay, good news is I get used to the smell now) and I didn't even say a word about it to my dear roommate ><

FIRST lecture: EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION


And I'm going over all the high school girl shyness
thing....you know, just smiling politely while pondering what to talk, should I talk until it isn't necessary to talk anymore. Feel insecure and lonely in places without acquaintance and turning into the gentle and quiet girl which is NOT me.....arrgh...I don't want it to be with me anymore. Feel like I am being more and more inward recently, I talk to myself more than anyone else. And I'm gonna be therapist that try to let people talk.

It is time to step forward.

Wondering why am I getting sick over and over again?
Sick of it....

It was my favorite class and I'm proud of my record that I never slept through it before.
Well, records are meant to be broken
Yes, my classmates are amazed by my abilities to fall asleep anytime during class
I could see them directly opposite me....laughing
but I don't know if I should tell them
This time.....I'm trying my best to hold my eyes open
I am really using forces to hold it wide open
And most of the time I am unconscious of my unconsciousness
I don't even have the energy to explain anything to them
I just want to drag myself back to room

Found sleep is the best remedy....
Slept for 16hours and finally woke up to find my fever and headache gone
(Bad effect: I had serious insomnia for 2 days)
It reminds me of how good free time is
So glad to skip unwanted rehearsal and extra tutorial
Could I use sick as excuse to run away from all these unwanted meeting next time?

Sore throat, flu and cough please leave me...

I really wanted to ask: Is there anything wrong with my voice?

Today, I had an interview with a prestigious professor, Dr K who was one of the founders of our course. I was supposed to be an audience but I was so curious that questions popped out from me, but just a few. I want to emphasize, it was less than five sentences. At the end of the interview, the professor (used to be an ENT) suggested me to do a test on my vocal cord…..could you feel the bunch of question marks that popped out from my head?

So I was told, there was a problem that should be look into, the coarseness of my voice that I didn’t aware of, which I would blame on the high frequency of laryngitis and cold and the cough. Then only my classmates told me how SERAK my sound was. All of them. As the lightning strikes, I couldn’t wait to rush to the clinic and get an appointment.

So I met our lecturer to have the test. He told me that he could sense something wrong from my first word and my rate of normalness of my voice, 6 out of 10 was too high. He is the one that put the adjective “coarse” on my voice. Sobs. Then my second question came: was my problem that BAD?  

I had to say, the lecturer was really nice and I would like him more if he didn’t had to pull my tongue and poke the steel rod into my mouth. I still like him, in spite of that. Blame my gag reflex that we tried in vain for half an hour and failed to get the image he wanted. But he was really patient and explained in great detail about all the procedure and possible outcome. I wonder if I could reach that level of professionalism, you know, not showing the frustration or anger even he asked: "WHY" I couldn't do that, forgive me as I really don't have the answer, my tongue act on its own will.

Next wave of shock, he said maybe he should get Dr K to check my larynx together. Does my larynx really have that honor to have the service of my idol? Nevertheless, I get an appointment tomorrow, but without knowing who I am seeing.

I know, to be a SLP or even a normal people, I need a nice voice and actually, I do like my voice and all those were devastating. I am wondering, should I get an ENT appointment which I really hate it. Really wanted to advice my fellow medic friend don’t take ENT because you’ll ended up poking in people’s nose, mouth and ear all the time. Not fun for the patient and you.

Time for more water and no fast food! (had to reject McD and Domino today, good things always came at the day that you can’t have it) Instead, I have porridge.

Just hope I could get finally get a view of my voice cord tomorrow.

Had the first outing with my classmate.....Finally, yes....so sorry for that missing all those fun before. =p

Enjoyed the day and I’ll remember someone that held my hand joyfully to declare our first time of outing. We had food in a stingy restaurant but had a GREAT movie. We were so that we were totally unaware of our friend that slipped out of the cinema, many apologies again.

It ended in a dramatic way. Had to walk all the way back from faculty is bad enough, and RAINING before we reach the college is just Arrghhhh….. 

I guess that give us a reason to remember this specific day, running on the street under heavy downpour make the whole scene so vividly imprinted in my memory.

The whole journey, rude taxi driver, the water loops around, swamp-like field, dim light of KLCC under dark clouds, the dark and lonely road that filled with our echoes and the moment when we complaint about sweats that start to fall like rain, the sky decided to show us what RAINs are.

I can’t even remember the last time I felt raindrops hitting but now, I do and definitely all the rest.

Sorry for not joining daily dinner session and forgive me for going alone sometimes, I'm just used to it and somehow this is my way of settling something.

But don’t forget me k? I do get the warning….

It is so sweet to see people that cares and loves that start blooming around. We have years ahead to glue out better chemistry and I think we have the right ingredient. ^^

P/S: I had to say I hate KL traffic! MORE….

The time is ticking. Or more precisely, our life is ticking away.

This is an fascinating and creepy idea to begin with. Time is the currency of the world. You have a glowing digital watch countdown your time left on your arm. Watching human arms being ATM and life literally vanish by seconds made me feel uneasy.

It is an dark world, with only flickering candle light. You woke up with less an a day more to live. You had to spend that day working to earn one more day. Price of good keep rising but your salary goes the opposite way. There seem no way to get out of this vicious cycle. Time spent on earning more(or precisely less) time but you need it for survival. I guess no one can discuss the meaning of living when all your strength is used to fight for another breath of air. But despite all love thrives especially among those poor deprived folks.  The only light in eternal darkness.

I couldn't help to relate it to our world. The equation is time=money.

For a few to be immortal, many must die.

Will Salas said: "if one has to die, then no one should be immortal" 

Translated to our language,

For a few to be rich. many must stay poor.

So true. 

Ever heard of the joke that if Bill Gates drop 10 dollars on the floor, he should not pick it up because  it is not worth it. He earns more in those few seconds. Yes, this world is outrageously unfair. Just as there are people with billion years on their arm and clueless on how to spend it, there are people that run out their life because they can't afford an hour ride. Same scene happen here.   

So is there anything wrong with our side? It doesn't sound so wrong when you say for few to be rich, many must stay poor. At least no one die. And those people earn their money with their own efforts legally and some were just unlucky to be born in a famine-stroke country in Africa. But there is problem when people manipulating the system for their own advantage. Just like those people in the movie are pushed into the corner by soaring good prices and ever-rising interest rate. Ever wonder where the money goes?  

In a world that overwrote so many rules, it is intriguing to see people that still uphold Darwinian natural selection theory. So the strong survive proves to be the ultimate theorem. I just feel lucky that we have the chance to be strong, unlike those who are forced into the vicious cycle and never had the chance to reach higher. Opportunity to be educated and climb up the social ladder 

. You might say we face so many unfairness on this land but still we have a fair ground to start and obstacles just mean we have to bounce higher. Train our muscle more so we could be the STRONGEST.

The ending is just too much of a fairy tale.  They did not crunch the system instead became another version of Bonnie and Clyde. Maybe it fits Hollywood romance sentiments more or it simply show that the system is indestructible? Giving money away doesn't solve the problem. Sometimes money need to be in the right hand and those with money in hand need to have the ability to protect themselves as well.

I don't wish for unreachable fantasy like let everyone be rich. But I do have a tiny hope that it could be a bit fairer, just a little.
At least we should have an equal chance to fight for our own good.

I'm in UM!

I've met so many KMM-nians around: Chung Han, Ling Hui, Jilian, Sushi, Chun Wei but sadly can't met Von because she is back at home =.= WE ARE SO NEAR! and Ci because I don't know how to reach her college and it was quite far. Finally I understand why UM people stay in the same university but don't know about each other. All the colleges are scattered around and you don't really get to see each other.

I'll have another post on my experience on the debate tournament, but I just want to share about lovely people I met today.

A really bad thing for us in MOHEC is THEY DON'T PROVIDE DINNER. And UM have nice big Dewan Makan without people selling food! So, we have to find food by ourselves... =.= When the people are telling us how to reach there...walk behind the block, through the gate, turn right, walk for 5 minutes, there are 3 gates...I'm already lost and I just hope there are someone that could lead us, a bunch of tired and hungry poor fellow to somewhere that have FOOD.

And so I wave the magic wand and Dang! There are really such angel! They not only brought us there...to the so-called KFC(which I heard from high school senior before) and really treat us like VIP. =p They  help us making order, being our waiter by serving the dishes and even washed the cutlery for us. They even waited us to finish our meal and lead us back so that we won't lost amid UM. So paise.....It might be not a big deal to them but I really appreciate the fact that they are willing to spare their time for us and being so hospitable to that extent.

I encountered another nice people later tonight. Maybe it was the fact that I'm coughing too loud or somehow, a China girl living opposite knocked my door and gave me this.

She might just be trying to silence me but I really felt the sincerity. You don't generally get this kind of
warm concern, I mean, I'm just random guest who coincidentally stay here and she was being so caring by giving me this herb pill(??) from China. Miraculously, my cough after that even though I didn't take it. Oh, I wish I talked more to her just now but I'm so shy. =p

It was just so nice to find so many good people around. ^^

没想过，我是那么恋家的人

一直以为，是家人的爱把我绑得牢牢的

当事情排山倒海的来

当自己只能在时间的后头狂奔

觉得有什么在一点一滴慢慢的流失

忘了为什么而忙

开始不可抑制的想家

当妈说这一个月像一年般漫长

酸酸的情绪麻痹着心脏

就算只有二十四个小时

我也要回去

仿佛那小小的木屋

可以拂去一切的忧虑

上个星期六

六点起来看着窗外的天

等天亮

迫不及待的踏上归途

迎来的是厚实的拥抱

和最贴心的照顾

不用点菜，端上桌的正是心中想吃的

卷在床上抱着被单就很温暖

什么都不用做，就有人为你张罗一切

听着老人家碎碎念

觉得一切都是暖暖的

像是裹在泡沫中

美好得不真实

早该清楚

十八岁开始

家就只是偶尔假期回去的地方

或许是五个月的假期

太长了

或许是我的适应期

太长了

突然觉得自己又退化成了温室小花

只想当个受尽呵护的小孩

答应自己

无谓的忧愁

写完，就抹掉。

要做的事还多着呢

I really love this career even though I still outside the door. So I like our first assignment that allows us to have a peep on what a true practicing SLP and audiologist did. Basically in first year, speech students have classes together with audiology student since we have to learn the same thing.

I get to interview people working at private hospital and I could only say private hospital in KL are indeed as luxurious as 5 star hotels where they have Starbucks and Coffee Bean inside with the marble floor and paintings hanging on the wall. That really doesn’t look like hospital.

This is a really small network where there are not more than 1000 of us in Malaysia. I think this is why they are being so helpful and nice. I mean, most of them are UKM alumni or at least acquaintance of our lecturers.

All my interviewees are impressive in their own way. We have one of the first SLP in Malaysia with degree from UK but not recognised by government hospital that she started in private clinic; fresh graduate that set up an audiology clinic in private hospital by himself even though the audiology clinic is just big enough for 3 people; first batch alumni that started to work in HUKM with daily basis salary; private practice SLP that get master from Singapore and teaches in our faculty. I think these are really good exposure for first year students where we are only learning basic theory now.

You know how uncommon our course are, so yes, most of them are dumped here. But everyone is grateful they are here.

Everyone I interviewed blurted up the same word when I asked what drove them through years of hard labour. Satisfaction. They even used the same adjective: rewarding. Yes there may be time that you are tired of it and even have doubts on yourself but the joy of watching a kid pronounce their first word or help to change someone life exerts such a force that would keep you on.

I don’t think there is much career like this where people are so passionate about their job. This is what I want in my future. I don’t want to work because of money or work is just work but I hope that my work is what I love. That is true bliss of life. I saw that from one of my interviewee in which she couldn’t have a long holiday because she will start to miss her patients.

Last weekend I met a fourth year senior that did the same thing as me. She chose Speech therapy with 4.0 in Matriculation instead of Medicine or Pharmacy. Well, both of us don’t think that this is any waste. I am so proud that I could proclaim Speech is my first choice. But she really out a dark cloud ahead of me when mentioning about all those hard times during clinical practice did induce tinge of regret, oh, I hope I could go through all that.

Seriously, I like the course, like everything that I’m learning, like my coursemate, seniors and even all the SLP and audiologist I interviewed. So I am sorry for all those complaints I had before, I guess I just forgot how to study after such long holiday, words keep slip off my head, which means I need to work harder to carve them inside. But these are labours with joy? =p

Ok, I joined the debate club.

Honestly I have always wanted to try, but erm…you know la, you really need courage to start the first step and keep it on.

I like the atmosphere in the club. How they been so encouraging to newbie that totally don’t know anything like me and guided us so well. I mean, they could always point out something good in you although you feel like you are just crapping pointlessly. Regardless of course and ages, they mixed up so well without barrier. I enjoy the view of it and may one day I will become one of them.    

I really learned a lot of things. Debate is really about effective communication. It is not about what you say, what is in your head but what other people heard from you. It is not only blurting out everything, but you have to mention it in a way that your argument will penetrate into their brain and let them nod with you. Well, that is exactly what I need to learn. The main reason I joined debate is how we get “advice” from lecturers that we seriously need EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, which I’m still trying to pick it up. I guess that is an art which require a lifetime to master.

I heard a senior mentioned the most fascinating element in debate is you can turn the whole world upside down. Things that are right could be wrong. Nothing is definite. Now I agree with her. You began to see the world in a whole new and wider perspective. Personally you think that A is totally wrong and sinful, but in a debate you are going to suggest a proposal to legalize it. You really have to persuade yourself before you could stand in front and try to get vote from others. That was hardest part for and I found that fun.    

My classmate tried to stop me from joining this club and competition. She was right, we don’t even have time to study for all those things yet I have to read up on heavy issue like Utilitarian, ICC blah blah blah that sound like issues from outer planet and spent so much time on practice. Although I need to invest lots of time, I like what I learned in debate team. Economy, rights, international issue, these are what I felt a university student should know. I don’t want to bury myself in anatomy and linguistic. Yes, I have to juggle my time between classes, debate, assignments and other curriculum activities, but I like the feeling of filling my brain with useful stuff.

Last weekend, I went for the training simply because I wanted to learn more. No other purpose. It was indeed a big surprise that I am elected as one of the member in junior team for unknown reason. I know that I am really fresh junior that needs a huge brush up process before I could hit the bar. There are people that are way better than me. I really appreciate the fact that they gave me this opportunity to try. Unfortunately I screwed up in the last practice and I don’t know whether I would disappoint senior that put faith on me.

Wish me good luck this Friday. ^^

我在抬头就望见双峰塔的地方

思念

果然还是乡下的孩子

车辆呼啸而过的马路

每天都塞着的车

受光污染染上红晕的天空

提醒我这不是我的地方

庆幸仍可隐身在钢铁森林中的小绿荫

旁边还有漂亮的湖

但还是怀念那种

可以自由骑在中间的马路

你们的痕迹太深刻

耳机偶尔播着我们的歌

我会在课室中微微的笑

庆幸我们有属于自己的旋律

不想吃晚餐

虽然同学努力邀约

但对那些食物真的提不起胃口

不跟家里比

原来真的会怀念KMM的食物

我要有厚厚鸡蛋包着的蛋包饭

贴着漂亮欲爆蛋黄的印度煎饼

不想去购物

因为人太多店太多

在人流中

我觉得自己像下错站的旅人

请别担心，

这只是适应期

我会找到喜欢、怀念、舍不得这里的理由

PS：我有重大发现，原来双峰塔12点后会关灯

You are Everything To Somebody  

Right now at this very minute-----------  

someone
is very proud of you  

someone 
is thinking of you

someone 
cares about you

someone
misses you  

someone
wants to talk to you

someone 
wants to be with you  

someone
hopes you aren't in trouble

someone
is thankful for the support you have 
provided  

someone 
wants to hold your hand 

someone 
hopes everything turns out all right

someone
wants you to be happy  

someone
wants you to find them

someone
is celebrating your successes  

someone 
wants to give you a gift

someone 
thinks you ARE a gift  

someone 
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot  

someone
wants to hug you  

someone
loves you

someone 
wants to lavish you with small gifts  

someone 
admires your strength  

someone 
is thinking of you and smiling  

someone 
wants to be your shoulder to cry on

someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun

someone
thinks the world of you

someone 
wants to protect you

someone
would do anything for you 

someone 
wants to be forgiven

someone 
is grateful for your forgiveness  

someone 
wants to laugh with you about old times  

someone 
remembers you and wishes you were there

someone 
needs to know that your love is unconditional  

somebody   
values your advice  

someone 
wants to tell you how much they care

someone 
wants to stay up watching old movies with 
you  

someone 
wants to share their dreams with you 

someone 
wants to hold you in their arms

someone 
wants YOU to hold them in your arms

someone 
treasures your spirit  

someone 
wishes they could STOP time because of 
you  

someone 
can't wait to see you

someone 
wishes that things didn't have to change  

someone 
loves you for who you are  

someone 
loves the way you make them feel

someone 
wants to be with you 
someone 
hears a song that reminds them of you  

someone 
wants you to know they are there for you  

someone 
is glad that you're their friend  

someone 
wants to be your friend  

someone 
stayed up all night thinking about you  

someone 
is alive because of you  

someone 
is wishing that you would notice them

someone 
wants to get to know you better

someone 
believes that you are their soul mate  

someone 
wants to be near you

someone 
misses your guidance and advice  

someone 
values your guidance and advice 

someone 
has faith in you

someone 
trusts you

someone
needs you to send them this letter  

someone
needs your support

someone 
needs you to have faith in them  

someone 
needs you to let them be your friend

someone 
will cry when they read this